Parents Just Don't Understand
Do you ever worry about what your teen isn't telling you?
Do you miss the days when they were more open with you?
Are you concerned about how well they are coping with the stress and pressure they face?
If these thoughts keep you up at night, you're not alone.
Many parents share these fears, but there is a solution that can help bridge the communication gap and bring you closer to your teen.
The Hidden Struggles of Teens
Parenting has gotten harder because being a teenager has gotten harder. The pressure to keep up and the competition for everything is fierce these days. From feeling like you fit in to getting the grades needed for college applications, and having all the extracurricular and volunteer hours lined up like ducks in a row, today's teens face immense challenges. To parent effectively during this time in our culture takes the right mindset, skill set and vision.
When teens don't feel like they can talk to their parents, several concerning issues can arise:
Emotional Distress: Increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Risky Behaviors: Substance abuse and engaging in unsafe activities.
Academic Challenges: Decline in performance and lack of motivation.
Social Issues: Relationship problems and social withdrawal.
Trust and Communication Breakdown: Erosion of trust and communication barriers.
Identity and Self-Development: Struggles with identity and decision-making.
Increased Conflict: More frequent arguments and rebellion.
Lack of Guidance: Poor decision-making and absence of role models.
The 6 Blocks to Communication
Here are six common barriers that prevent teens from opening up to their parents:
Feeling Dismissed or Invalidated: Teens often feel dismissed or invalidated during conversations. When their emotions or opinions aren’t valued, it can lead to frustration and distance.
Perceived Misunderstandings: Misunderstandings can create distance. Teens often feel like they and their parents are speaking different languages. As DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince rapped, "You know parents are the same, no matter time nor place. They don't understand that us kids are going to make some mistakes. So to you, all the kids all across the land, there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand."
Fear of Judgment: Teens may hold back because of fear of judgment. This barrier often blocks honest communication. When they fear being judged, they tend to hide their true feelings and thoughts, leading to a lack of genuine connection.
Fear of Consequences: Fear of consequences can silence important conversations. Whether it's the threat of punishment or the fear of disappointing their parents, these worries often keep teens from sharing their true thoughts and feelings.
Pressure to Maintain a Perfect Image: Trying to maintain a perfect image can be exhausting for teens. The pressure to always appear perfect often prevents genuine communication between parents and teens. Embracing authenticity over perfection is key to building a stronger, more honest relationship.
Identity Struggles: Navigating identity struggles is tough for teens. They are in a critical phase of figuring out who they are, which can lead to confusion and conflict. Parents often find it challenging to adjust to their teen's evolving identity and provide the right support during this transformative period.
Introducing: Parent Coaching
As a parent coach, I support parents in enhancing their influence and connection with their teens. Even if your teen doesn't act like it, you are still the biggest influence in their life. You have the power and the opportunity to guide your teen throughout their crucial developmental years.
Take the First Step Today
Don't make the mistake of just assuming everything is fine and that your teen will simply survive these challenges. This is a new time, and new action is needed. By becoming aware of the barriers to communication and actively working towards breaking them down, you can transform your home into a place where conversations happen openly, and your relationship with your teen strengthens. As a parent, you can feel less stressed and frustrated, and more calm and confident, knowing you've been proactive in supporting your teen's well-being.
You have a few options to get started:
Free Discovery Call 1:1 Coaching: Set up a free discovery call to find out if private parent coaching is right for you. We’ll talk about your specific challenges and how we can work together to build a stronger bond with your teen.
Self-Paced Course - Cracking the Parent Code: If you’re not ready to invest in private coaching, take my self-paced course called "Cracking the Parent Code." This course will provide you with practical tools and insights to improve communication and connection with your teen.
Group Coaching - Cracking the Parent Code: If you love being part of a community, I will be starting a "Cracking the Parent Code" group this fall. This will be an 8 week journey with moms like you who need more tools and skills to build a connection with their teens. If you're interested in learning more, please share your contact information with us here. You'll receive detailed information via email and an invitation to our free introductory webinar in August.
I look forward to helping you build a more connected and understanding relationship with your teen.
Warmly,
