Do You Know How Your Parenting Style is Affecting Your Teen?

Ever wonder if you’re too soft on your teen—or too harsh?
Are you questioning whether you’re getting this whole parenting thing right?

Welcome to the September edition of our newsletter, where we explore the delicate art of parenting styles and provide insights to help you build stronger relationships with your teenagers.

The Four Main Parenting Styles

As parents, we’ve all experienced these styles at different times. We’ve observed them in friends or family—and surely we’ve judged others’ styles. It’s tempting to pass judgment so we can feel like we’re right or doing a good job.

Think back to those initial decisions, such as:

• Cloth vs. disposable diapers

• Breast vs. bottle

• Going back to work vs. staying at home

Just as there are pros and cons to each of those decisions, there are pros and cons to each parenting style.

Keeping an Open Mind

I invite your curiosity about each of these styles and how they align with your values. I’d also like to emphasize that this isn’t about being right or wrong, and it’s not simply black or white. These are generalizations based on research, and it’s worth noting that the research does indicate more pros for one style.

If you enjoy self-analysis (as I do), you might realize that:

• Your parenting style mirrors how you were parented, or

• It might be the polar opposite of your own upbringing, and

• You and your spouse or co-parent may differ in your styles.

Let’s explore these styles with an open and understanding perspective, recognizing that the journey of parenting is complex, personal, and ever-evolving.

Authoritarian Parenting

Characteristics:

• Strict rules and high expectations

• Emphasizes obedience and discipline

• Sets rigid boundaries without much room for negotiation

Examples:

• Giving orders without explanation

• Expecting immediate compliance

Pros:

• Provides structure and clear expectations

• Can help instill discipline and responsibility

Cons:

• May lead to rebellion or withdrawal in teens

• Can hinder open communication and discourage independent thinking

• May create a stressful environment for both the parent and the teen, potentially damaging the parent–child bond.

• Could stifle emotional expression, making it harder for the teen to develop healthy coping strategies.

Permissive Parenting

Characteristics:

• Leniency and a lack of clear boundaries

• Parents often avoid confrontation

• Child’s desires tend to come before setting limits

Examples:

• Allowing excessive screen time

• Giving in to demands to avoid conflict

Pros:

• Fosters a sense of freedom and creativity

• Encourages open communication and understanding of personal desires

Cons:

• Can create challenges with setting boundaries

• May result in low resilience, adaptability, self-esteem, and problem-solving skills

Uninvolved Parenting

Characteristics:

• Lack of emotional involvement and support

• Parents can be disengaged and fail to provide necessary guidance

Examples:

• Not being aware of a teenager’s activities or interests

Pros:

• Offers space for independence and self-reliance

• May encourage problem-solving skills

Cons:

• Teens can feel neglected or unsupported

• May lead to insecurity or a sense of disconnectedness

Authoritative Parenting

Characteristics:

• Balances open communication with clear boundaries

• Provides guidance while considering a teenager’s input

• Encourages autonomy and responsibility

Outcome:

• Teens often become confident, self-reliant, and capable decision-makers

Pros:

• Fosters healthy communication and understanding

• Encourages independence while providing guidance

• Promotes responsible decision-making

Cons:

• Requires time and effort to maintain open communication

• Striking the right balance between boundaries and autonomy can be challenging

  Understanding the Research…

Research on parenting styles suggests that authoritative parenting tends to yield the most positive outcomes for teenagers. Teens raised by authoritative parents generally have better self-esteem, social skills, and emotional regulation. This style also helps teens learn decision-making skills while balancing independence and structure.

Implementing an Authoritative Parenting Style

1. Open Communication
   Engage in regular conversations with your teen. Listen actively and show empathy, allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment.

2. Setting Clear Expectations
   Define clear rules and boundaries, and explain the rationale behind them. This helps your teen understand why rules are important.

3. Encouraging Independence
   Offer opportunities for your teen to make decisions within reasonable limits. This empowers them to build critical thinking skills and take responsibility for their actions.

4. Positive Reinforcement
   Acknowledge and praise your teen’s efforts and achievements. This fosters a sense of accomplishment and motivation.

5. Problem-Solving Together
   Collaborate with your teen to find solutions to challenges they face. This approach promotes problem-solving skills and helps them feel supported.

   Discover Comprehensive Coaching Support for Both Teens and Parents

At Positively Healthy Coaching, our goal is to empower both teens and parents in their well-being journeys. As Teen and Parent Coaches, we understand your unique challenges and offer guidance to help you find the balance between supportive parenting and fostering independence.

If you’re seeking assistance with:

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Strengthening communication

• Navigating the dynamic world of parenting teenagers

…we’re here to help you create a harmonious family environment.

Navigating parenting styles and building strong connections with your teenagers is an ongoing journey. I’m honored to be a part of it and here to provide research-based, comprehensive coaching support.

Thank you for being a part of our community dedicated to teen and parent well-being!