5 Signs You Need To Pay Attention to in Your Teen
We all experience some degree of stress in our daily lives. Stress varies widely from acute to chronic, but most recognize it when we feel it. It is both an emotional and physical reaction to a challenge or demand. Regardless of the severity or frequency, we can usually pinpoint the source.
As adults, managing the evening routine for our families—overseeing homework, serving dinner, and ensuring our kids are on time for their extracurricular activities—can be particularly stressful. The unpredictable nature of these tasks, coupled with the various moods and energy levels of family members, can significantly impact your overall stress levels.
While stress and anxiety share common traits, what distinguishes them is the specificity of the source and the accompanying feelings. Generalized anxiety tends to be more elusive, with the source typically having a broader scope. For instance, a teenager may feel stressed about an upcoming test but anxious about school in general. Another way to look at stress is that it tends to be metabolized out of the system while the anxiety marinates in the nervous system. The source of anxiety could be identifiable like tests or social situations - even after the event has passed, the feeling of fear about future events persists.
Anxiety is characterized by a fear of an uncertain future over which we have no control.
Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness
(Emotional Equations by Chip Conley)
When stress and/or anxiety become overwhelming, they can trigger depression. Depression serves as a means to shut down from the world, blocking out life when it becomes too difficult to cope. It's crucial to be aware that anxiety and depression often go hand in hand.
According to Mental Health America's 2023 data, teenagers aged 12-17 reported the following:
16.39% of youth (age 12-17) reported suffering from at least one major depressive episode (MDE) in the past year.
11.5% of youth (or over 2.7 million youth) are experiencing severe major depression.
6.34% of youth in the U.S. reported a substance use disorder in the past year.
2.85% had an alcohol use disorder in the past year.
4.85% had an illicit drug use disorder.
59.8% of youth with major depression did not receive any mental health treatment.
As parents, distinguishing between the typical mood swings of a teenager and a mood disorder can be challenging. Stress, anxiety, and depression have become so prevalent that determining what's considered normal can be disorienting.
Though everyone is different, adverse changes in behavior are vital indicators. These changes can manifest in language, mood, and noticeable disruptions in patterns or routines. Since these changes can occur gradually, it's easy to become desensitized to them, attributing them to typical teenage behavior.
Like how we were vigilant about our babies' feeding times and sleep schedules, monitoring our teens' lifestyle habits is essential.
Have they experienced negative changes?
Sleep patterns - Teenagers are notorious for late wake-up times on weekends, often compensating for lost sleep during the week. Unusual sleep patterns, while not an immediate cause for alarm, should still be monitored, as anxiety and depression can impact sleep quality.
Eating habits - Living with a teenager presents challenges, especially regarding what's considered normal. Highly stressed, anxious, or depressed teenagers may crave high-fat, high-sugar foods. Weight gain or loss, particularly outside the norm, can cause concern.
Emotional regulation - Teenagers' mood swings are expected as part of their developmental process. However, if your teen struggles to cope with life, pay extra attention to frequent crying, yelling, door slamming, or fighting.
Social habits - Ideally, teens would have a supportive friend group, but this is often not the case. Be alert to changes in friend groups or unhealthy/toxic friendships and romantic relationships.
Overall withdrawal from family or everyday life - Developmentally, teens seek more independence, spending time away from home or isolated in their bedrooms. While spending time on phones is normal, your intuition may tell you when they are unusually distant or hiding something.
Recognizing when these changes become problematic can be challenging, as they are typical to some degree. Constantly monitoring every move or interrogating them will likely push them further away.
Raising a healthy, happy, and increasingly independent teen is a delicate balance.
How to Help: Nurturing Your Teen's Mental Health
Open Communication - Maintaining an open line of communication is crucial. Create a safe space where your teen feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions without judgment. Regularly check in with them about their day, concerns, or anything on their mind.
Educate Yourself - Understanding your teen's challenges is the first step in providing support. Take the time to educate yourself about teenage stress, anxiety, and depression. Resources like books, articles, and reputable websites can offer valuable insights.
Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms - Help your teen discover and adopt healthy coping mechanisms for managing stress. This could include hobbies, physical activities, mindfulness practices, or creative outlets. Encourage them to explore activities that bring joy and relaxation.
Establish Routine and Boundaries - A structured routine can provide a sense of stability during uncertain times. Establishing healthy boundaries for screen time, sleep, and social activities can contribute to a more balanced and stable lifestyle.
Create a Culture of Resilience - Encourage your teen to embrace resilience by modeling it in your behavior. When encountering mistakes or facing challenges, openly share your experiences and demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms. For instance, if you make a mistake or encounter a problem, express your emotions using "I feel" statements.
For example, say, "I feel stressed that I'm going to be late for my meeting, but relative to other things, this is just a small problem." By showcasing how to navigate challenges with resilience, you provide your teen with a valuable example.
Reinforce the idea that setbacks are a natural part of life and that the ability to bounce back is worth developing. Building a resilient mindset can help your teen face difficulties with a positive outlook and develop practical problem-solving skills.
Foster Supportive Friendships - Encourage your teen to maintain healthy friendships and social connections. Friendships are significant in emotional well-being, and positive peer relationships can provide valuable support during challenging times.
Monitor Online Activity - In today's digital age, online interactions can significantly impact a teen's well-being. Keep an eye on their online activities, and be aware of any signs of cyberbullying, excessive screen time, or harmful online relationships.
Collaborate with School Professionals - Engage with teachers, counselors, and other school professionals to gain insights into your teen's academic and social experiences. Schools often have resources and support systems in place to assist struggling students.
Responding to Urgent Concerns
If you suspect your teen is self-harming or using drugs, it's essential to address the situation promptly:
Stay Calm and Approach with Empathy - Approach your teen with empathy and a calm demeanor. Express your concern without judgment, and let them know you're there to support them.
Consult with Professionals - Seek immediate professional help if you suspect self-harming behaviors or substance abuse. Mental health and addiction specialists can provide the necessary interventions and treatment plans.
Create a Safety Plan - Work with professionals to create a safety plan for your teen. This may involve removing access to harmful objects, establishing emergency contacts, and outlining steps to take in crises.
Conclusion
If you are concerned or want some guidance, I'm here for you. Let's navigate this journey together. You can schedule a call with me [insert link] to discuss how I can help you support your teen.
Remember, being a parent is a delicate balance, especially when dealing with the complexities of teenage emotions. Stay vigilant, stay connected, and create space for your teen to thrive.
If you feel you or your teen could use a coach to help them navigate their stress, anxiety, or depression, schedule a call with me below. Or, if you need parent coaching, I'm here to help you.
