What Many Teens Wish Their Parents Knew in December
By Laura Ollinger, M.Ed., NBC-HWC
Teen & Parent Well-Being Coach
December looks joyful from the outside — lights, traditions, a break from the usual pace.
But for many families, this month brings a mix of big feelings — for teens and for parents.
If you’ve noticed any shifts like moodiness, shut-downs, procrastination, outbursts, extra sensitivity, or withdrawal, it’s often a sign of internal overload rather than defiance. And understanding what might be underneath those behaviors can change how the whole month feels at home.
Here’s what many teens wish their parents understood during this season:
1. “If I seem moody or on edge… finals and grades might feel huge to me.”
December often brings academic pressure that feels heavier for teens than it might for younger kids or adults. Their developing brains tie performance to identity, belonging, and future possibilities — so even small academic moments can feel big.
How it may show up:
irritability or shortness
procrastination or avoidance
acting totally unfazed even when stressed
2. “I still want connection… even if the way I show it has changed.”
Teens don’t seek closeness in the same ways they did when they were younger. They still want warmth and presence, just with more control and lower pressure. This can look different from teen to teen.
Connection signals might include:
hanging out in the same room
playful or sarcastic banter
retreating but hoping you’ll stay nearby
3. “If I seem irritated around extended family… the conversations might be draining for me.”
It’s rarely the people — it’s the explaining. Teens have bigger inner worlds and more privacy, so summarizing their life for relatives can feel like emotional labor, especially when they’re asked about school, the future, or technology and social media they constantly need to “translate.”
Why it can feel heavy:
filling in context adults don’t know
explaining tech or social norms
figuring out how much to reveal
4. “If I melt down or shut down… I might be feeling the stress in the home too — and teens interpret it differently.”
Younger kids tend to mirror moods; teens mirror meaning. When the home feels tense, teens often wonder if it’s their fault, if they should be fixing it, or if they’re adding to it. Their reactions vary widely because their regulation skills are still developing.
Teen reactions might look like:
getting louder or more reactive
withdrawing completely
acting unaffected but absorbing everything
5. “I’m trying to be independent… but I still need reassurance (even when I push you away).”
Adolescence is a tug-of-war between wanting freedom and needing support. Teens may test limits, avoid help, or act like they don’t care — while still craving steady boundaries and gentle reassurance behind the scenes.
Common signs:
resisting support but wanting presence
needing boundaries while pushing against them
asking for space but wanting connection
6. “I might be thinking about next semester or the new year… even if it doesn’t look like reflection.”
Most teens don’t reflect like adults do. Instead, it happens in tiny flashes — on a drive, while scrolling, cleaning their room, or late at night. You may not see it, but transitions often bring small waves of self-evaluation.
Reflection can show up as:
wanting a “fresh start”
reorganizing or resetting routines
quick bursts of anxiety or clarity
7. “I don’t need the holidays to look a certain way — I just need them to feel emotionally safe and aligned with who I am.”
Not all teens want calm; some want fun, friends, adventure, or energy. Others want downtime. Many want a mix. What matters most is that they don’t feel pressured to act a certain way or match someone else’s mood.
What teens often want most:
no pressure to “perform” happiness
no tension or eggshell-walking
flexibility to be themselves
If you’re feeling unsure about how to support your teen through all of this, you’re not alone.
Even the most loving, intentional parents feel stretched thin during a month packed with pressure, transitions, and emotional intensity. And as someone who works closely with families and schools as a Teen & Parent Well-Being Coach, I’ve seen that these struggles are far more common than most parents realize.
If you're finding yourself wondering:
“Why does everything feel so big right now?”
“Why doesn’t anything I say seem to land?”
“Why does it feel like we’re stuck in a loop?”
There's nothing wrong with you — and nothing wrong with your teen.
Your family may simply need support that works in real life, not just in theory.
And I’m so excited to share something I’ve been quietly building for families who want meaningful, lasting change.
Introducing: The In-Home Family Transformation Experience
A concierge-level, selective coaching immersion — available to only a small number of families.
This experience is intentionally exclusive so I can work deeply with each family.
It’s not therapy and it’s not a program — it’s hands-on, real-time coaching inside the environment where your family’s communication, stress, and habits actually happen.
It includes four full days of me working inside your home, guiding your family through real conversations, real patterns, and real moments as they naturally unfold.
Families choose this when:
conversations escalate quickly
their teen shuts down or blows up
digital habits create disconnection
siblings absorb the tension
everyone feels stuck in repeating patterns
If this is something your family might need, 👉 set up a call with me today (https://www.positivelyhealthycoaching.com/booking) so we can talk about what’s happening in your home and whether this experience is the right next step.
A Thought to Leave You With
Your teen doesn’t need a perfect holiday.
They need one where they feel seen, understood, and safe to be themselves.
And you deserve support that brings more calm, connection, and confidence into your home — without adding more pressure to your plate.
