A New Year’s Gift to Yourself: Less Nagging, More Connecting
How is your January going so far? We’re officially past the holiday blur and into that quiet stretch where the house is (mostly) back to normal and the "real world" is calling again.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the pressure we put on ourselves this time of year. We look at the new semester as a chance to "fix" everything—the messy rooms, the late-night scrolling, the grades, the procrastination.
But what if, instead of adding more to your "to-do" list, you gave yourself permission to do a little less?
The "Manager" Trap
We’ve all been there. We see our teen (boy or girl!) struggling to get out of bed or ignoring a deadline, and our "Manager Brain" kicks into high gear. We start organizing, reminding, and—let’s be honest—nagging.
We do it because we love them! But often, the more we manage, the more they pull away. It’s exhausting for us, and it can actually make them feel like we don't think they’re capable.
Shifting to "The Consultant"
What if this year, you tried on a new hat? Instead of being the Manager (who is responsible for the results), what if you became the Consultant?
A Consultant is a safe place to land. They offer wisdom, they listen, and they support—but they let the teen keep the "job" of running their own life. It’s a small shift that makes a huge difference in the energy of your home.
Here’s how it looks in real life:
Instead of giving a directive: "Go do your homework," try a curious question: "Hey, what’s your plan for getting that history project done so you can enjoy your weekend?"
Instead of "fixing" the problem: When they vent about a friend or a teacher, try saying: "That sounds so frustrating. Do you want me to just listen, or do you want to brainstorm some ideas together?"
Trusting the "Ouch": It is so hard to watch them face a natural consequence (like a low grade or a missed practice), but remember: you are raising a resilient human. Trusting them to survive a "mess-up" is one of the biggest votes of confidence you can give.
We’re in This Together
Please remember: it’s okay for your teen to feel the weight of their choices, and it’s okay for you to step back and breathe. You aren't "doing nothing"—you’re giving them the space to grow into the confident, capable adult you already know they can be.
If the "Manager" habit is a hard one for you to break (believe me, I get it!), I’m right here with you
Ready to Make This Shift?
If you are ready to move from "manager" to "consultant" but aren't sure how to start, I'm here to support you.
Schedule a complimentary call with me today to discuss a personalized approach for your family. Let’s work together to help your teen become the confident, resilient individual they are meant to be.
