The Mental Load of a Parent is Real

The summer after my freshman year of college, my family was supposed to go to the beach in South Carolina.

I grew up in St. Louis and went to college in Dallas — so I was so excited.

Then a hurricane forced us to pivot, and we ended up in Georgia instead.

One night at dinner, my dad asked:

“What classes are you registering for next semester?”

I answered.

The next day, he asked again.

And I had a very teenage moment:

“Dad… I already told you that.”

He paused and apologized.

Not because he was confused.

Not because it was dementia.

He just said:

“I have so much on my mind.”

Now I Understand: Cognitive Overload Is Real

At nineteen, I didn’t get it.

Now, as a 49-year-old mom of four, I completely do.

Parenting teens means carrying a constant mental checklist:

• schedules

• school forms

• payments

• emotions

• logistics

• everyone needing something

Sometimes your brain drops things.

Not because you don’t care. Because your brain is full.

That’s cognitive overload.

And teens often misread it.

Parents often shame themselves for it.

But it’s not a character flaw.

It’s capacity.

The Takeaway: Systems Build Trust

The goal isn’t perfect memory.

The goal is follow-through.

In our house, we use simple systems:

• kids text me reminders

• Hey, Siri…..

• one central “failsafe” list on the kitchen counter

Because trust is built through consistency, not perfection.

3 Takeaways to Try This Week

If the parenting mental load feels heavy right now, start here:

1. Externalize the reminders
   Don’t rely on your brain to hold everything. Use one shared system — a note, a list, a text thread — so your teen knows where requests go.

2. Name what’s happening (without guilt)
   Try saying:
   “I’m not ignoring you — my brain is juggling a lot. Can you remind me tonight?”
   That small clarification prevents misinterpretation.

3. Follow-through builds trust more than perfection
   Your teen doesn’t need you to remember everything instantly.
   They need to know you care enough to come back, repair, and keep your word.

A Final Reminder

Connection isn’t built by never forgetting — it’s built by returning.

Returning to the conversation.
Returning to your word.
Returning to your teen, even when life feels full.

You’re not failing.

You’re human.

And small systems, paired with compassion, can create more trust and calm at home.

Want Support Right Now?

If the mental load has been feeling especially heavy lately — and you want support creating more calm, clearer communication, and stronger trust with your teen…

I offer 90-minute Parent Coaching Sessions designed to help you:

• untangle what’s happening at home

• shift patterns that keep repeating

• learn practical tools that actually work with teens

• walk away with a clear next step

Sometimes one focused conversation can bring more relief than weeks of trying to figure it out alone.

→ Book a 90-Minute Parent Session here:
[Schedule Your Parent Session]

P.S. You don’t have to do this perfectly. You just don’t have to do it by yourself.