Does the daily question of "what’s for dinner?" feel like a battleground instead of a family connection? If you are parenting a teenager who has suddenly become "picky" or simply refuses to try anything new, you aren't alone. While we often associate picky eating with toddlers, the teenage years bring a unique developmental shift where kids seek power and boundaries, often using food as their primary arena for control.

In this episode of the Positively Healthy Mom Podcast, Laura Ollinger sits down with Katie Kimball, a two-time TEDx speaker and the creator of the Teens Cook Real Food course. They dive into tactical strategies to help you move from a relationship of control to one of empowerment—turning your kitchen into a space for resilience rather than resentment.

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The "Hook" Strategy: Why Should They Care?

You can't force a teenager to love kale, but you can find the "hook" that makes cooking relevant to their world. Katie suggests tapping into what your teen already values:

The Athlete: Focus on "fueling" for peak performance and recovery.
The Science Geek: Explore the chemistry of the "brown crispy bits" and how different heat levels change food.
The Budget-Conscious: Show them how expensive pre-made healthy food is and how much they can save by DIY-ing - putting more money in their pocket for the car they want so badly.

Two Pillars for Changing Palates: Agency and Exposure

To dismantle "picky eating" habits in teenagers, Katie preaches two specific concepts: Agency and Exposure.

1. Exposure without Pressure Exposure doesn't always mean eating. Simply having your teen wash, scrub, or chop a vegetable counts as exposure. These tactile and olfactory experiences help "inoculate" them against the fear of new foods. Smelling food as it cooks actually dulls their sensory intensity, making the first bite less overwhelming.

2. Agency over Authority Teens crave choice and control. Instead of asking "what do you want for dinner?"—which often results in "I don't know" —give them a specific job with creative freedom. Let them choose the spice blend for the chicken or the cooking method (roasted vs. air-fried) for the side dish. When they "own" the process, they are far more likely to "own" the outcome.

Q&A: Navigating the Kitchen with Your Teen

Q: How do I get my teen to start cooking if they think it's "cringey" or just more work?

A: Start small and find a way for them to receive praise from someone other than you. Having a teen cook a dish for a potluck or for visiting grandparents provides an immediate positive feedback loop. They are more likely to feel a sense of pride when the praise comes from an outside source rather than a "nagging" parent.

Q: My teen is so busy with sports and school. Isn't asking them to cook just adding to their stress?

A: Think of cooking as an investment in their future living and mental health. The kitchen is a low-pressure environment where it’s okay to fail. Dealing with a burnt meal or a forgotten ingredient builds emotional resilience and regulation skills they will need in college and beyond. Plus, when the whole family functions as a team, it reduces the overall "mental load" and burnout for moms.

Q: How can I encourage my teen to clean up without starting an argument?

A: Shift from "barking orders" to observational statements or humor. Try an observational fact like, "I see there is bread out on the counter," which allows the teen to reach the conclusion themselves. Katie also suggests using humor, such as asking if they brought a tip for their "busser". The goal is to build a family culture where everyone who eats also contributes to the cleanup.

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