Are you having fun?
Ah, December—a magical time of stressed-out moms and worn-out kids.
Every teenager I've encountered this week is trying to survive the next three weeks of midterm exams and final projects before the much-awaited holiday break.
So, how can you make it through without pulling your hair out? Here's a plan that won't require a degree in advanced calculus.
Vibes:
Let's talk about home vibes. Everyone's got their own definition of fun and lightheartedness. You know, those moments when you have a spontaneous dance party in the kitchen or resurrect a long-standing inside joke. Heck, maybe you even dust off the elf that once pushed you to the brink of insanity when the kids were knee-high.
Need more ideas? Try snapping pics of yourself doing hilarious things and sending them while the kids are stuck at school. The key is to unleash your inner child and play like there's no tomorrow!
Game Plan:
Now, let's tackle the game plan. This is where you might face some resistance from your teenager. Approach it like you're dealing with a deer—you do NOT want to scare it away with loud screams or claps. Instead, approach quietly, maybe offer some metaphorical food (or actual food) to calm its nerves.
Scary
"You need to get your grades up."
"Put more effort in."
"Get organized and study."
Supportive
"What's your game plan for studying?
"Do you have a strategy for organizing your time?"
"How much time do you think you'll need to prepare for mid-terms?"
"How can I support you during the next three weeks?"
Mindset:
Lastly, let's talk about changing the meaning. I've noticed a lot of fear and scarcity in my clients this past week, mostly centered around the meaning they attach to a grade or the time they have to perform. Some of these anxious kids feel that it will ruin their lives if they don't hit a specific grade. They're convinced that this one grade will alter their college opportunities or even their future career and income. We want our kids to reach their highest potential, but putting too much weight on a single grade adds unnecessary pressure.
Timed tests are another source of counterproductive stress during midterms. The anxiety and cortisol levels skyrocket, impairing their ability to think clearly. I've been resetting their mindsets to believe they have plenty of time. Calming their nervous systems allows for clearer thinking.
For the Parents:
And for all the moms and dads preparing for the break, if you find yourself overwhelmed, try a "brain dump." Write down everything stressing you out. Externalizing these thoughts can do wonders for your sanity and creates a to-do list.
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
Best wishes for a beautiful holiday season with your family!
Warmly,
